They say that it takes a village to raise a child. It definitely takes a village to combine raising kids and running your own business at the same time. What if you actually have the village to help you but you still don’t get things done?
This is exactly how I felt a while ago. I receive so much help from such great people – I have a great husband, awesome babysitters, two excellent assistants (business + personal). Yet, my business goals stayed as far as the shining stars on a clear autumn night. My kids were acting worse than crazy teenagers – obvious mom deficit. The only thing that reminded my husband that he is still married was the wedding ring. My sales organization probably thought that their leader had moved to another planet. My body shouted loudly for a regular workout. And my mind was praying for inner peace. How is this possible?
You run, run, run! Yet, get nothing done!
If I were a business, I’d have been bankrupt with the amount of deficit I’ve built up.
And just to clarify – I don’t think I am a lazy person. Most days I wake up around 5 or 6 to get things done. How is it possible to keep doing stuff all the time and yet get nothing done? How is it possible to fall behind in every area of life while constantly working on them?
In sales, we say that confused people don’t buy. I have discovered that confused people also don’t sell. Now, raising kids I have noticed that confused kids do not behave very well. Overall – confused people do not get anything done in life!
Life is not hocus-pocus, it is all about FOCUS!
Let’s face it, as a working mom you never get everything done on your TODO list and we moms LOVE our to-do lists. So we need to choose our priorities because when you try to do it all you fail in all of it. There are usually a few key activities that give you the most in return, you just need to find them.
Here’s where the art of asking questions comes in handy.
5 simple questions to ask from yourself to see if you are on the right track:
- What is my vision? Mission? Goal? Why are those important to you?
- What are the most important controllable activities that will get me there?
- Who can keep me accountable for doing them?
- When would be the best time to do those activities? Do I have them in my schedule?
- Do I have daily affirmations that go along with those goals and priorities? Do I do them daily?
When I started asking myself those questions, I discovered that by trying to do it all I had forgotten the most important people and activities. What seems the most urgent is not always the most important.
For example, I sacrificed weekly business reflection time for answering emails because that seemed more urgent. However, by not paying attention to important business reflection numbers, there might not be any e-mails to answer in the near future because you might actually lose your business.
And with kids – sacrificing quality time with them now when they are little might lead to them not wanting to have quality time with me when they get older. If I don’t find time for my husband one day I might end up wondering where this great relationship went.
I got a great tip a while ago from one of my great leaders and mentors Dan Moore: first, you need to be a great wife, second, you need to be a great mom, and third, you need to be a great leader.
And really, when I think about it – kids will grow up and leave home; business I can do as long as I live. But it all comes down to having this one solid rock standing next to me all my life – my husband.
So I reached for my calendar and scheduled a date night every other week. Not just a date night but also arranged a babysitter so it would actually happen. I scheduled family days just for kids after busier workdays or travel because that’s when it’s most needed. I scheduled a weekly business overview time and accountability call to check in weekly with my own manager. I decided to start my day with a little yoga exercise and daily affirmations that would support my vision and goals.
It seems like a lot of planning and scheduling but all those changes are actually little things in my calendar. Besides, life is built on those little blocks done consistently.
“The common denominator of success — the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do.”
Albert E.N. Gray
You know the best time to act is now, right?
So, while you already have this post opened, take a couple of minutes to think about the following questions, answer them and have them sent to your email so you can go over them any time you want.
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