Picture this: high school me, standing outside a house on a crisp winter evening. I was armed with snacks, a few jokes in my head, and the excitement of spending the evening with my closest friends. Life was good. Or so I thought.
We walk inside, and what do I see? One unfamiliar face. Just one. You’d think I was being asked to deliver a TED Talk to 10,000 people by how fast my confidence evaporated. The rest of the evening? Absolute radio silence. I only spoke when someone asked me a question. “Yes.” “No.” “Thanks, I’ll take some chips.” That was the extent of my social contribution.
It turns out, that was my version of a “great party”—standing on the sidelines, avoiding eye contact, and waiting for the clock to say I could go home. Ah, high school.
Now fast forward a few years, and here’s the plot twist: I ended up selling books door-to-door in the U.S., meeting—wait for it—30,000 strangers. Yes, thirty thousand. The girl who couldn’t muster a “Hi” to one person at a party was suddenly starting conversations with strangers every day.
Spoiler alert: I didn’t crumble. In fact, I learned how to connect with people, and it’s a skill that’s helped me ever since. If high school me could see me now, she’d faint.
Here’s what I figured out along the way: making connections doesn’t have to be terrifying. It’s about preparation, confidence, and genuine curiosity. Let me break it down for you:
1. Prepare If You Can (But Don’t Stress If You Can’t)
Preparation is great when you have time. Before meeting someone new, especially someone from a different culture, take a few minutes to learn about them.
For example, if you’re meeting someone from India, look up their festivals (like Diwali) or sports they love (cricket is a big deal!). This shows you care and makes it easier to start a conversation. But sometimes, you don’t have time to prepare—and that’s okay too. A simple smile and genuine curiosity can go a long way.
For example: “I read about Diwali—it sounds so colorful and fun. How do you celebrate it with your family?” or
2. Remember How Awesome You Are (Seriously, Don’t Forget This)
Back in high school, I’d walk into social situations thinking about all the ways I could mess up. Now? I pause and remind myself of my wins. Maybe I finished a tough project or helped a friend through something hard. Whatever it is, I hold onto it as proof that I can handle challenges.
Try this: Before your next meeting, ask yourself: What’s something I’ve done recently that made me proud?
Confidence doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes, it’s as simple as remembering you’ve done hard things before, and you’ll do them again.
3. Be Genuinely Curious About People (It’s Not a Trick—It’s a Superpower)
Here’s the secret no one told me in high school: people love to feel seen and appreciated. And the best way to do that? Be curious about them.
Ask questions, notice what makes them unique, and find something you admire about them. It could be their problem-solving skills, their sense of humor, or even their funky shoes. Trust me, once you show genuine interest, the conversation flows naturally.
Try this: “What’s the most exciting thing you’re working on right now?” or “What’s a passion you’re diving into these days?”
Looking back, I wish I could tell high school me: “It’s not about being the most confident person in the room. It’s about showing up, being prepared, and caring enough to learn about others.”
So, whether you’re walking into a meeting, a party, or—let’s be honest—a completely random situation, remember this: connection isn’t about perfection. It’s about curiosity, kindness, and realizing that even the most introverted high schooler can one day start a conversation with 30,000 strangers.
And if I can do it, so can you.
